5 TIPS TO PREVENT SELF-SABOTAGE

How often do you feel like you are not enough, in any way possible?

How many times did your thoughts prevent you from meeting someone new or having a worthy experience?

As humans, we do make mistakes and sometimes we do right things sometimes we do wrong things, but many times we work against ourselves. We prevent our improvement and quality of life, by allowing our tricky mind to take over reality. Allowing more negative thoughts and overthinking rather than having a positive attitude and staying in present.

Quote above can serve as a remainder that you are not supposed to be in past nor in the future. We all search for peace but sometimes, it already lays within us, and ours is to find it.

Many times, we are aware and know exactly that we are giving ourselves hard time, thinking we deserve that. We are guessing that it will help and wake us from the situations we are in, when in fact it brings more anxiety and worry to our plate. It can prevent us from learning new things or improving current abilities, by saying I am not good enough, I can not do this, I am not smart enough, I am not talented. We delay the process of learning and self-improvement, by making easy obstacles much harder, and hard ones impossible.

Here are some tips on how to reduce and then stop self-sabotage.

TIP 1:

You need to understand in what situations and why are these thoughts coming. Self-reflection is important because once you realize in what type of situation are your negative or unrealistic thoughts coming you will be able to regulate and control them.

TIP 2:

Clear up your mind of stress as much as possible. For example, if you easily lose things, you can design specific places for those objects so that you minimize stress around losing those. If your schedule makes you stressed and overwhelmed try making a daily/weekly or monthly planner. Whenever you feel like you are losing your energy and your peace is being disrupted find a way to neutralize that situation to the best of your ability.

By clearing out your mind you will have more time and energy to work on yourself, and thoughts, that are preventing you from being the best version of yourself.

TIP 3:

Learn to appreciate improvements no matter how small they are. Any improvement is a step towards your peace and happiness so do not let your mind to stay in a negative place full of self-sabotage. Remember do not be harsh on yourself, it will not help the process.

TIP 4:

Be patient. Everything in life requires patience, so know that you need both time and energy to achieve your goal. No one excell in a skill in a day, nor week, maybe in a month, but everything requires time and practice. Practice acceptance because it is very important to see the reality, and then keep working to achieve what you want by also having your peace.

TIP 5:

Learn more. Whenever you chose to set a new goal you need to understand how to get there. Reading books and doing research can also help you find the best way to reach your goal, while also fitting your needs and desires. Knowing more you will be able to distinguish between what works for you and what does not. You will learn from other examples and you will have the ability to achieve both your goal and peace.

Personal experience:

A book that helped me to better undertand myself and just read the things that I needed to have a confirmation on is MindFuck by Petra Bock.

Some of the lines that helped me, from the book are:

“When we are free, open, and concentrated, our spirit and our bodies can make miracles”

“We can decide to always look for curiosity, faith, and joy when met with new experiences”

“In a realxed body it is much easier to think positively, then in a stiffed body”

“We are chosing if we direct our attentinon on problems, obstacles, and self-sabotage or on the life that we want to create”

“What we do to ourselves, is everything, just not nice”

And for the end rember that your way of thinking has a huge impact on your life and its quality. So always try to put your helth and well-being first and trust yourself. Trust your gut feeling and believe that anything is possible with the right mindset!

Published by: Marija Borčić, August 2020

Sparkle UP!

Dimensions of Wellness

To have a better life satisfaction we need to realize what are the components that we should focus on to emerge into a person that we want to become. Therefore, in the next text, you will be able to differentiate between dimensions of wellness and to understand their purpose. You will know what wellness is, its dimensions, and how to improve in each dimension. The information provided in this blog will help you to live a life with more understanding and control over it.

Many people when they hear the word wellness they associate it with only physical health. But wellness is much more. Wellness “is a holistic integration of physical, mental, and spiritual well-being, fueling the body, engaging the mind, and nurturing the spirit” (Stoewen, 2017). It can help you to become the best version of yourself, by realizing where do you need or want improvement.

Wellness consists of 8 dimensions: environmental, financial, spiritual, vocational, emotional, social, physical, and mental. These dimensions are interconnected and hence are affecting one another and our goal is to maintain our own personal balance. Since every human is unique, every person has their own values and goals.

  1. Environmental Dimension
  • Refers to being in a surrounding where you can feel safe, have pleasant environments, where you have the support and positive people around you.
    • Ways to improve your surroundings: being aware of planet earth and doing our part with recycling, investing in the community, creating a garden or culture good, talking about safety policies in community, having people who live there connected and engaged…

2. Financial Dimension

  • Refers to your habits and knowledge about finance, more so of managing your money well and being satisfied with its current and future state. Money plays an important role in our life, but being able to have future financial plans, may reduce the stress around it.
    • Ways to improve finances: try to save some money by having a savings account, try to write down weekly or monthly goals for spending, try to create emergencies fond, to minimize spending you can shop at low-cost shops and prepare meals at home instead of eating out, do garage sales…

3. Spiritual Dimension

  • Refers to your connection to yourself, your beliefs, attitudes, and values. It is also connected to self-awareness and mindfulness. It improves by finding meaning and purpose in life.
    • Ways to improve spirituality: volunteer, meditate, do self-reflection exercises, be in nature, do what aligns with your values…

4. Vocational Dimension

  • Refers to and in other words occupational dimensions (career), which means to show how satisfied we are with our work/school/ volunteering. If our work is challenging us to be better, it is enriching our experience.
    • Ways to improve your career: doing something you enjoy and love, something you are skilled for, finding an appropriate salary…

5. Emotional Dimension

  • Refers to being able to control our emotions and to cope effectively with what is happening in our life. Having the ability to express feelings that are occurring and being able to reduce stress, relax, and have good self-care routines.
    • Ways to improve emotional dimension: do things that make you feel good from the inside and that you enjoy, learn to speak about your problems, respect feelings of both yourself and others…

6. Social Dimension

  • Refers to having people that are trustworthy, reliable, and supportive. It develops if we have a feeling of belonging and develop healthy friendships.
    • Ways to improve social life: be open to new people and experiences, join an organization or club that interests you, stay in touch with people you care about…

7. Physical Dimension

  • Refers to our routines connected to taking care of our body. Such as: getting enough and quality sleep, eating healthy and food that is good for us, exercising regularly. 
    • Ways to improve physical state: understand your body type, make schedules for exercise, make sure to sleep enough, eat more od non-processed food, fruits and vegetables, go for walks…

8. Mental Dimension

  • Refers to and in other words intellectual dimension, meaning that we seek to find ways to expand our skills and knowledge. 
    • Ways to improve mental dimension: read more, talk to people who inspire you, keep working on your development, accept challenges…

The focus for everyone is not going to be the same. Maybe someone is really invested in their job but wants to improve in the physical dimension, so they may add two practices a week of 45 minutes, and they will be satisfied with that single decision. On the other side let’s say that a person really values their environment more over their financial situation, so they may choose to move even though they do not have money to live comfortably, but they would much rather be safe and in a positive environment then have a lot of money. In these examples, you can see how it all depends on a person and their internal values and desires. As Stoewen (2017) says “personal harmony” is the goal that we are trying to achieve by aligning our desires and being able to live a life that we design for ourselves.

Another thing that is very important is that since these dimensions are interconnected. If you are doing worse then expected in a dimension of high value to you it can decrease your effectiveness in other dimensions as well. Let’s say for example that you had a fight with your best friend and now you may be affected on the workplace and can not perform you best because of the situation that occured.

Understanding these dimensions and their interconection can help you be more stable and have a balanced life.

References:

Stoewen DL. Dimensions of wellness: Change your habits, change your life. Can Vet J. 2017;58(8):861-862.

Roddick L. The 8 Dimensions of Wellness: Where do you fit it? 2016

” If you have a goal, be relentless in your pursuit”.

Published by: Marija Borčić, July 2020