How often do you feel like you are not enough, in any way possible?
How many times did your thoughts prevent you from meeting someone new or having a worthy experience?
As humans, we do make mistakes and sometimes we do right things sometimes we do wrong things, but many times we work against ourselves. We prevent our improvement and quality of life, by allowing our tricky mind to take over reality. Allowing more negative thoughts and overthinking rather than having a positive attitude and staying in present.
Quote above can serve as a remainder that you are not supposed to be in past nor in the future. We all search for peace but sometimes, it already lays within us, and ours is to find it.
Many times, we are aware and know exactly that we are giving ourselves hard time, thinking we deserve that. We are guessing that it will help and wake us from the situations we are in, when in fact it brings more anxiety and worry to our plate. It can prevent us from learning new things or improving current abilities, by saying I am not good enough, I can not do this, I am not smart enough, I am not talented. We delay the process of learning and self-improvement, by making easy obstacles much harder, and hard ones impossible.
Here are some tips on how to reduce and then stop self-sabotage.
You need to understand in what situations and why are these thoughts coming. Self-reflection is important because once you realize in what type of situation are your negative or unrealistic thoughts coming you will be able to regulate and control them.
Clear up your mind of stress as much as possible. For example, if you easily lose things, you can design specific places for those objects so that you minimize stress around losing those. If your schedule makes you stressed and overwhelmed try making a daily/weekly or monthly planner. Whenever you feel like you are losing your energy and your peace is being disrupted find a way to neutralize that situation to the best of your ability.
By clearing out your mind you will have more time and energy to work on yourself, and thoughts, that are preventing you from being the best version of yourself.
Learn to appreciate improvements no matter how small they are. Any improvement is a step towards your peace and happiness so do not let your mind to stay in a negative place full of self-sabotage. Remember do not be harsh on yourself, it will not help the process.
Be patient. Everything in life requires patience, so know that you need both time and energy to achieve your goal. No one excell in a skill in a day, nor week, maybe in a month, but everything requires time and practice. Practice acceptance because it is very important to see the reality, and then keep working to achieve what you want by also having your peace.
Learn more. Whenever you chose to set a new goal you need to understand how to get there. Reading books and doing research can also help you find the best way to reach your goal, while also fitting your needs and desires. Knowing more you will be able to distinguish between what works for you and what does not. You will learn from other examples and you will have the ability to achieve both your goal and peace.
A book that helped me to better undertand myself and just read the things that I needed to have a confirmation on is MindFuck by Petra Bock.
Some of the lines that helped me, from the book are:
“When we are free, open, and concentrated, our spirit and our bodies can make miracles”
“We can decide to always look for curiosity, faith, and joy when met with new experiences”
“In a realxed body it is much easier to think positively, then in a stiffed body”
“We are chosing if we direct our attentinon on problems, obstacles, and self-sabotage or on the life that we want to create”
“What we do to ourselves, is everything, just not nice”
And for the end rember that your way of thinking has a huge impact on your life and its quality. So always try to put your helth and well-being first and trust yourself. Trust your gut feeling and believe that anything is possible with the right mindset!
Published by: Marija Borčić, August 2020